Look Into My Eyes
On contradictions, self-doubt, and the long practice of becoming someone you'd be proud to be.
There’s a stretch of life — for me, somewhere in the middle of becoming whoever I’m becoming — where you start to realize you contain a lot more contradictions than you used to admit. The version of yourself you wanted to be by now still hasn’t quite arrived.
This poem is from one of those nights.
Look into my eyes, what do you see?
Sometimes I’m obsessed with victory
Sometimes I need to cry
From the mysteries inside
Thought I’d have it figured out by now
But does anyone? I guess not
Sometimes I feel young in my old soul
Spread love is what I’ve been told
I guess the keys to the best me
Requires pens, patience, and poetic pedigree
Sometimes I’m my own worst enemy
But I’ll keep trying though
So I’ve been told — it’s how you treat others
How you make ‘em feel; are you being real?
With those around you and to yourself
Love yourself, it’s easy to say. Just keep trying
The line that won’t leave me is the one about treating others — how you make them feel, whether you’re being real. We all know it. The doing it is the work.
Love yourself, it’s easy to say. Maybe one day it lands different. Until then, just keep trying.
— JTC