Truly Being Free
On the candle and the hourglass — and the long question of whether the time was used the way it deserved.
A long one. Asks the questions you usually save for milestone birthdays.
Like candles in the dark
Like sands in an hourglass
I push myself to embark
On a journey to surpass
What I was the day before
What I was a lifetime ago
Yet I rest and ignore
The fire inside; desperate to grow
Instead I gaze at the sea, and sin
A constant wonder of what could be
Or what could have been
Wishing I knew the key for me
To feel as though it wasn’t all for naught
To feel as though I’ve made the most
Of precious moments I have caught
And know that I was truly engrossed
Before too long that candle will lose its light
And before too long, the sand will cease
Did I use it well? Did I use it with all my might?
Or did I let it decay? Will I ever know peace?
It’s hard to say while the candle still burns
And it’s hard to see if I’ve used time effectively
I just feel I haven’t done enough to earn
A life of happiness, of serenity; truly being free
You don’t get to know if you used the time well until you don’t have any left. That’s a bad joke and a true one. The honest answer the poem lands on isn’t comforting — it’s the not knowing. The work is doing the best you can without the answer.
— JTC