Why Now, Why Me
On finally meeting someone who actually means it — and the strange suspicion that follows.
For the part of you that’s been hurt enough times to have built a defense against being loved properly. The poem doesn’t dismantle the defense. It just names it.
It was hard to accept
The love I’ve yearned for
You see, I’ve been hurt before
So many times, too many times
I’ve learned a comfort
In knowing they’ll leave
Knowing it was nothing more than a tease
A taste of what love can be
When I finally met someone who cared
I couldn’t help but feel scared
What’s the catch, why me?
I’ve never been good enough
…or so it would seem
Why now, why me? Feels too good to be true
You see, I’ve had friends tell me I don’t belong
The suspicion isn’t your fault. It’s a calluses-on-your-hand response to a specific kind of damage. The work is mostly noticing it, breathing through it, and not making the new person pay for the old people’s debt.
— JTC